Since I was baptized in 2024, I would have candid discussions with my wife about her beliefs and if she had any interest in getting baptized.

And recently, a string of events has brought my wife to genuinely want Jesus in her life.

It all started with a prayer following a conversation with other Christians who are in my life. They’re familiar with my wife and asked me where she stood on her journey.

I explained to them that I’m not worried, but there is this mental hurdle that she has where she believes she’s either not worthy or she needs to do something to have Jesus in her life.

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So it’s understood, I’ve never compelled my wife or pushed her into wanting Jesus Christ as her savior. All I do is talk to her and ask her questions. I figure with information and testimony, she can make up her own mind.

Part of the reason I wasn’t worried is because I can see the many ways that God was reaching out to her already.

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She’s not entirely familiar with the Bible and when she was in a difficult situation, she received scripture that she wasn’t familiar with and it directly related to what she was going through; I don’t believe in coincidences.

After that call with friends, I vividly remember walking my dog outside with the sun shining and I started talking to God. I prayed that He would help to bring my wife closer to Him. It was a silent prayer that came from the heart.

Later that day, my wife came home from work and asked if I wanted to go to the gym in our complex, to which I agreed. I was wearing a t-shirt that has a Christian phrase on it while walking on the treadmill.

When we entered the gym, there was a woman that we’ve never interacted with there who was also on the treadmill next to me. If my memory serves me, I might have seen her once before but my wife has never seen her before.

We had small talk and then continued with our workouts. I finished early and left my wife to continue her routine. When my wife came home, she began telling me how this mysterious woman engaged in a conversation with her based on the shirt I was wearing.

Then the words came out of her mouth: “She invited us to her church. Do you want to go?”

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Immediately, I knew it was the Lord working through people to reach out to my wife. Of course, I agreed. A couple of weeks later, we went to the church and immediately felt comfortable, like we were supposed to be there.

I had been struggling to find a church and completely overlooked this place. I’ve been to several churches when I was young. It just felt like a place that was empty, not entirely alive; kind of hard to explain.

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But this place felt different. It had a spirit about it and moments of love and beauty that would force me to hold back tears. Even better, Michele felt the same exact way. We walked out and she expressed how she felt renewed, as did I.

The following week, we went back and part of me was wondering if this was an emotional fluke on my part; it wasn’t. The second time attending was even stronger than before.

When the pastor began his sermon, it directly shot at my wife’s biggest struggle and I could hear her gasp. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore and I knew it was a sign.

After coming home, we talked about what we thought of the service and then after a pause in our conversation she said the words: “I am ready to get baptized.”

I always had faith that she would want this because I could see how He was reaching out to her, even when she couldn’t see it.

Oddly enough, we’ve yet to see this woman since she invited us to the church.

I prayed for my wife to completely open her heart to Jesus because I know how much doing this has transformed my life for the better and given me clarity about life that I didn’t possess prior; I wanted the same for her.

I wanted her to find salvation through Jesus Christ because I love her with all my heart.

So, next time someone says that prayer doesn’t work and it’s just wishful thinking, tell them about this story.

Refer a friend

Days ago, I lost my friend to a tough battle with cancer. It was only weeks ago that he told me that, due to his age and the advancement, the doctors said there was nothing else they could do.

The last time I talked to him, I believe he knew it would be the last time we would speak.

I’ve heard lots of stories of people dying, and they just have a sense that it’s coming to an end. While he was a fighter, I think he knew the inevitability of his passing was coming even before the doctors told him.

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I found out he passed away only hours after being on stage at a conference in Orlando this past Saturday. I received a video call while sitting in the audience from his account, which was unusual since we don’t video chat.

I called back, and it wasn’t him; it was his wife. She was distraught and told me that the man she’d been married to for over 30 years and her best friend, died two days ago. She said that he told her to reach out to me after he passed and tell me how much our friendship meant to him.

To honor his memory, I want to talk about my friend, Phil, and how we became unlikely friends.

I met Phil originally on a free speech platform shortly after the death of George Floyd. From my perspective, it seemed like our country had just flipped on its head, and new narratives were being formulated that at times made me question my sanity. Was I going crazy, or was everyone else insane?

On this forum, I would write intimately about my feelings and perspectives. Being there was a blessing for multiple reasons, but if it weren’t for that forum, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today.

After a couple of long-form posts, I received several messages of encouragement stating that I should write more often: Phil was one of those people.

Our dialogue would switch from the forum to Facebook Messenger, where we would talk almost daily about anything. At first, our conversations were cultural and political banter, and then they shifted into deeper topics, like our childhoods.

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I say we are unlikely friends because, on the surface, you wouldn’t think we’d ever be friends. He was in his 70s, a military veteran, and white; the complete opposite of myself. However, we not only had common viewpoints on politics, but we bonded over our childhood trauma.

We were both abandoned and lost boys, unsure of how to become strong men because we never had fathers to train us up. Phil never knew who his father was because no adult would ever tell him.

He admitted to me how he always felt less than other boys, and I knew exactly what he felt like. He stated that the only reason he joined the military was because he didn’t know what to do with his life and felt that the structure was helpful.

While the military was a positive part of his life, he would never shake that feeling of being lost in the world and lacking value. He didn’t really talk about it when he was younger. Instead, he drank alcohol to numb the pain.

At the beginning of our friendship, he would state how he had regret for his early adult years because of how alcohol messed up his relationships, especially with his children.

He knew he wasn’t a good father, and he hated that about himself. He had tremendous guilt about what he used to be and felt hopeless about what he could do to reunify with his children.

It was because of Phil that I gained empathy for flawed fathers filled with regret who lost hope due to their own internal strife. He didn’t have a father figure, a man to properly show him how to be a healthy father figure.

Instead, he was left alone to figure out how to handle his childhood wounds, and he did it the best way he knew how: through the bottle.

Despite him years later being able to stop drinking, the damage was done with his relationship with his children. The first time he told me about these intimate details, I told him that he should never give up on his children.

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I explained to him that he needed to apologize for what he had done with all sincerity. I didn’t judge him because he had already done enough of that to himself. Instead, I empathized with him and restored hope in reunification.

This conversation happened in 2020, and earlier this year, when I inquired about how everything was with his children, he let me know that two of his children were back in his life.

From the very beginning, Phil always believed in me and encouraged me to keep writing and speaking the truth. Not many people know this, but when I wrote my first book, only a handful of people knew about it.

Phil was one of those people, as I would periodically send him pages of the book as I was writing it. He would be blown away and tell me how I needed to hurry and finish so the world could read my words.

He was so impactful for me during that time that I wrote about our friendship in my first book, “Black Victim To Black Victor.”

If I’m honest, I had no real expectations of the book going anywhere. I thought my Facebook friends, some family, and maybe 10 strangers who discovered it somewhere would be interested in reading my book out of pure curiosity.

Where I am today, Phil always knew would happen. He saw what I couldn’t see. Over the five years of knowing each other, Phil would periodically send me messages giving me congratulations and telling me how he was proud of me. He would see my television appearance or read an article in the New York Post and make it known that he knew I would be here.

As an abandoned kid, you grow up wondering if anyone cares about you. It’s the low self-esteem part of me that would question if I’m of value and if anyone believes in my capabilities.

So, it means a lot to me when people believe in me. Phil wanted nothing but the best for me, and I felt the same for him. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but he grew as a man after we became friends.

We met at a tumultuous time in American history, and he’s told me on a couple of occasions that I kept him from going down a more ideologically radical road. I loved him too much to let him fall down the rabbit hole.

Usually, I don’t expect to meet my online friends, but when he found out that I was giving a speech in a neighboring state, he drove down with his lovely wife of over 30 years to meet me in person for the first time.

I wish I had gotten to spend more time with him, but I feel blessed to have met him at all.

Since finding out about his passing, it’s been difficult. I am sad but happy that he’s no longer suffering because he’s with the Lord now. On my plane ride home, I stared out the window, looking at the clouds, and I couldn’t stop crying as I was thinking about him.

Whenever someone close to me passes, I always think about the totality of life. It realigns my purpose and makes me even more thankful for the time I have here with people that I care about.

Phil knew I would change the world even when I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to. And to change the world, all you have to do is impact at least one person, and that positivity will ripple throughout the world in ways you’ll never see.

While at this conference, I spoke with a young man who was hesitant about reunifying with his father, who was regretfully not in his life. I told him to give his father grace and start a new relationship with him because that’s what I would do if my father were alive.

The next day, the young man told me via social media that he agreed to meet with his father, which his father was extremely pleased to hear.

It was shortly after this conversation that I found out about Phil’s passing. I like to think that Phil was there with me while helping this young man come back together with his father.

I already know that I made him proud, and when times get difficult, I’ll remind myself of Phil’s words of encouragement in the darkest of times.

Rest in Peace, my dear friend, Phillip Bannister. May the Lord be with you.

Refer a friend

I was afraid of what people thought of me, if I was making the right decision & of never receiving love.

Today, I'm fear-free and don't suffer in isolation anymore; Jesus is with me.

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At the time, I was going through various personal transformations, but felt stuck in many ways. I thought I needed a new challenge and after several trips to Germany and learning the Germany language (Note: I wasn't fluent but improving from beginner level), I strongly considered immigrating to Germany.

Many Americans who travel to Europe, especially Western Europe, get swooned by the surface of Europe. Most of the major cities are beautiful architecturally, their public transit systems run well and are efficient.

You look around, and you don't see any homeless people. On the surface, everyone appears happy, and you assume they've solved all their problems, leaving Americans behind.

The angriest moment I had was bouncing around Germany on the DB rail system, which is a high-speed and efficient transit system, and then landing at JFK airport to take New York City’s horrendous transit lines only to connect New Jersey's god awful NJ Transit system.

It's the mistake of looking at a country through a tourist lens, seeing the obvious niceties and avoiding peering deeper into the society you're vacationing in. Just about any country you visit, you can find positives about it. But the question is, would you really want to live there permanently?

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My first wake-up call that things weren't as they appeared on the surface was when I began applying for jobs.

I have a background in Information Technology and I have certain salary expectations due to my years of experience.

I had a Skype interview with a company in Frankfurt and when they asked me my salary expectations, I could see the lady’s face light up with disbelief: I never heard back from them.

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When I looked at Germany economically, I started looking at my friends who lived there. Most of them had to have roommates, and they were very frugal. Americans often think Europeans are simple because they want to be rather than they must be in order to survive.

Yes, they get 5 to 6 weeks of vacation depending on the country, but they can't afford to take multiple vacations a year. One time, I had an honest conversation with a taxi driver in Berlin and he explained to me how their tax system works in Germany.

Their tax system disincentives working more hours and earning a higher wage when you hit a certain threshold. So what do you do when you get taxed to death but you still need help? You turn to the state.

I realized that Germans and Americans are culturally very different in how we view the government's role in our lives. Germans tend to default to trusting the government, so if the government says it wants to keep you safe with this new law, they're less likely to push back on it.

Meanwhile, Americans are more likely skeptical of it and face some public backlash when the government oversteps. During the pandemic, my life didn't change too much outside of needing to wear a mask in stores.

However, when I would reach out to my friends in Germany, they were not only told what to do but where they could go. In America, we were encouraged not to do things, but they can't limit our freedom of movement. In Germany, they were dictating life for Germans and enforcing every demand with the police, especially in major cities.

When Biden was attempting to use OSHA to force people to get tested constantly if they don't get vaccinated, that was already happening in Germany. One of my friends had to get tested multiple times a week to keep her job.

Vaccination status determined which entrance customers used at larger stores. Their descriptions of what was happening there were incredibly dystopian, and it made me appreciate the pushback that exists in America.

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Germany is a nation that leans heavily politically left and defaults to trusting the government, which is why they are perfectly fine with enforcing "hate speech" laws.

Not enough Germans ask themselves about who will determine what is hate speech because right now, that definition doesn't seem like it applies to them. It's that law to stop the "others" until one day you're the other.

Germany has leaned heavily into the nanny state protectionist mode, especially now that they've allowed millions of foreigners to enter their country. From my observation, Germans have a hint of disdain for their heritage and traditions.

I can’t tell you how many Germans told me how much they don’t like their own language and couldn’t believe I wanted to learn it.

German pride is something that appears to be rare and maybe only reserved for the World Cup when you can pretend to be nationalistic for a couple of weeks.

I believe their lack of pride in their heritage stems from being encouraged, from a young age, to feel personally responsible for the Nazi regime's actions.

In a sense, it's like they think German nationalism is what created Nazism, so if they're never nationalistic, they can't repeat history again.

My inability to migrate to Germany turned out to be the best thing that happened to me. I met my now wife the following year and found several challenges here at home. I also became more patriotic when I compared the differences of living in America versus Germany.

Every country has its negatives, but I'm a proud American. I took for granted everything that makes America unique and overlooked the plentiful of stories of immigrants who chose to come to America. We have a culture of ambition and a healthy skepticism of government in our lives.

The fact that we go back and forth between Republican and Democrat presidents is actually a good thing. Nearly unanimous political systems, like in heavily left-leaning Germany, are bound to take their power to a point of self-destruction.

This example of policing insults online and in-person in Germany is the result of no real political friction to stop their ridiculousness.

I'm a proud American. I'm glad I stayed home.

Refer a friend

You already know he's waiting for you on the other side, but you have this nagging fear that makes you hesitant.

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Normally my dreams are vague and make little sense and there is absolutely nothing to take from them. However, what I experienced wasn't a dream; it was vivid.

If I'm to rewind to earlier this week, I woke up around 3:30 AM suddenly beca…

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I wondered, what caused me to be so lost for three decades and to believe God had left me?

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A decade ago, anxiety overwhelmed me, but now, thankfully, I am baptized and at peace with Jesus at my side.

I wasn't necessarily searching for God because I didn't think I was important enough for him to acknowledge, even if he existed. Looking back, I had unresolved abandonment issues stemming from my childhood, causing me to feel like rejection was inevitable, even if God was real.

In my mid-20s, I was tired of lying to people when I claimed to be a Christian when I wasn't at heart. It felt like the thing to say, but in my heart I knew it wasn't genuine. I constantly asked myself what I believed in and the answer kept coming back to "I don't know".

I was more comfortable telling the people around me that I was a man without an answer than portraying a belief that I didn't possess. Coincidentally, this was a time when I was suffering from panic attacks and agoraphobia.

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Almost daily, I was battling fear responses and constantly anxious, even for minor situations. I was out on leave from my job and when I felt scared to leave my house, I knew something was extremely wrong, causing me to seek help immediately.

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Years later, I would embark on my first solo international trip for two weeks, which almost completely got rid of my anxiety and it was like my life finally became open to greater possibilities than it was years prior in constant isolation.

That was when everything started to change from two supernatural experiences, one being approached an evil demonic force and another being touched by what I now know as the Holy Spirit.

Retrospectively, these moments happened when I started freeing myself from the shackles of anxiety, first leading to me being approached by a demonic entity in darkness as I heard it eerily say my name.

Less than a year later, I was touched by the Holy Spirit and relieved of all my grief as I placed my hand on my aunt's casket to lay her body to rest. It was an unexplainable gift that I received that I never told anyone about, allowing me to celebrate her life with my family.

What I believe now was that there was a battle for my soul and God won. A tug-of-war for my soul resulted from years of living in abject fear and battling suicidal thoughts, as I had been misled into believing my life was purposeless.

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Some troubled children and adults show their grief externally by vocalizing their anger or choosing violence to express their frustration. However, my battles were always internal, which is why most of the people in my life would have no idea how much I was dealing with.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I cry out of thankfulness for God intervening in my life and preventing me from doing something that I would immediately regret. By the grace of God, I was given peace in my life and air to breathe a new life of happiness.

Although I stopped looking for God, he never stopped reaching out to me. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. God pulled me away from the darkness and made me Born Again into a Christian with a purpose.

I am thankful for Christians like and for helping me literally take the plunge and making a lifelong commitment to Christ.

I am no longer ruled by fear and uncertainty. I am at peace. I am immensely thankful.

Refer a friend

Since then, I've had many revelations about my life, lost a couple of friends & helped others on their path to Christ.

The attacks I've faced for my faith don't compare to the tremendous love I've received.

Coming to Christ has been one of the most purposeful and meaningful events of my life. It was a lifelong journey filled with confusion, doubt over God's existence, and questions about whether it's possible to have faith.

It was a decision I made on my own because it was a relationship for which I had to volunteer. Many people around me didn't even know that I wanted to enter this spiritual relationship because I wanted to do it for the right reasons and not to please the people around me.

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This baptism was significant for me because it was my public declaration of being a follower of Christ even though I accepted him as my Lord and Savior prior. Christians are encouraged to proclaim publicly their relationship with Him in the same way you announce any relationship.

During my baptism, I made several promises to God, one particular promise was to remove a vice from my life. I understood I could not keep engaging in this vice and remain a loyal follower of Christ. So far, God has helped me to withstand the temptation and I've thrived since.

The negative was that there were a couple of people that I've had to disconnect from because their entire demeanor shifted once they saw I became a Christian. They spoke to me differently, more insultingly, and not of the nature of a friend.

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It was a lesson that not everyone will ride with you on your spiritual travels and just existing as a Christian is translated as threatening to many. I've been particularly focused on trying to lead with love, grace, and empathy even more so than before.

I am not upset to lose these people, rather I am empathetic to their hostility towards Christianity as I sense that they were at one time hurt by one or more self-proclaimed Christians. I pray that their hearts will soften and they release their animosity to have forgiveness.

It's hard to explain but it's like I have a wider scope of explanation for the world that makes more sense to me than before. I feel I am more in tune with humanity and I'm a bit more emotionally sensitive to what others are experiencing.

I am not afraid to die but I value life even more so. I think about mortality even more than I did before and I try to express my love for my friends and family before they are gone; you never know when that day will come.

However, what's been the most powerful part since has been watching multiple people in my orbit suddenly coming to Christ or seeking out Christ and coming to me to talk more about their journey. For one of my friends on this walk, I'm the only Christian that she's close to.

Whether I'm influencing others to come to Christ or just being available to help them on their walk, it's been a massive blessing. However, I did have regrets about not talking to my son about religion when he was younger because I was agnostic.

Suddenly, my son reached out to me and told me how in a low moment, Christ helped him. He started reading the Bible and went to a local church. I don't really believe in coincidences anymore, especially when Christ is involved.

I am where I am for a reason and the people who are around me help ground me in truth while keeping me humble. I am still learning and harnessing a beautiful relationship with Christ. I am thankful for all the people who support me and genuinely care for me.

I have immense gratitude for my Theologian friend Sonja Dahlmans, who spends hours of her time talking with me about scripture and Christ's conduct.

Today, I am fasting, writing, and reading the Bible for better understanding. I am grateful to be born again.

If you're struggling with faith or feel alone in your walk towards Christ, please feel free to message me privately.

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Earlier this year, I was invited to model for ’s new clothing company, XX-XY Athletics. It was a great honor to work with her and help be part of their marketing launch.

Since then, our friendship and association have grown even stronger.

I’m proud to announce that I’m now an official partner with XX-XY Athletics, the only athletic brand to stand up for w…

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3 months into our relationship, we traveled to Paris for her birthday & it solidified my desire to marry her. It's also where I told her I loved her for the first time.

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Without my wife's support, I wouldn't be nearly as successful and probably wouldn't have started this new career in media.

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I wanted to take the time to show my appreciation for the most thoughtful, caring, and encouraging people in the world who took the time to carefully craft these heart-warming messages.

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This past decade has been the most difficult & rewarding.

I went from living at home, single & unemployed to growing in a new career & happily married. I've also watched my son grow from a child to a wonderful young man.

I remember when I was fired from a customer service job after a few weeks of emplo…

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This is my weight loss journey...

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There was so much about life that I used to take for granted including life itself until I was faced with a loss of life that reminded me of its fragility.

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However, their problem: I dared to talk about Jesus.

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