A Message To My Mother on Mother's Day: I Accept You

I’ve heard it expressed that you never fully understand your parents until you become a parent yourself: I think there is something there.

When you’re young, you think you have all of the answers and you hyper-analyze the flaws of your parents, sometimes to the point of occasionally resenting them.

But at some point, you grow up and realize that your parents aren’t superheroes: they’re human. They may have been dealt with an unfair hand when they were children and once they became an adult, they’re trying their best to manage what was, or wasn’t, given to them.

In my younger years, I didn’t always understand why my mother would react in particular ways or why she said certain things but today, as a mature adult and father, I completely understand.

In my mid-20s, I had to move back home briefly and there was a bit of contention between me and my mother. At first, I thought I made a mistake after we got into an argument 24 hours after my coming home but I slept on it and a word crossed my mind that I implement with everyone I encounter: acceptance.

I accept my mother, her good and her bad, because none of us are all good or all bad. I’m sure if I was to look back at that argument, I was partly responsible for the breakdown in communication. I probably did deserve some chastising.

It’s difficult to accept our parents are who they are and not who we want them to be because often, that person we want them to be is unachievable. But the one thing I believe we should focus on is whether they tried their best.

I know my mother tried her best to do what she knew. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t but the effort means a lot more to me today as a father than it did when I was less mature and lacked life experience.

As much as I care about my son, I feel guilty about things I should have done or could have done better but my son understands that I try my best.

I was always into sports but that was partly due to my mother pushing me into them. I played little league baseball and even though my mother was a single mother raising two children and worked long hours, she tried her best to come to games.

When I was younger we came across a local minor league team and we went to a game as a family and had a great time. The next year we had season tickets and we went to most of the games. My mom wasn’t the biggest baseball fan but she found a way to enjoy the experience because I liked baseball.

For about 3 or 4 years in a row, we would drive from the Northeast down to Orlando, Florida to go to Disney and all the amusement rides. One year, my mother did all of this with a recently repaired knee and she wheel-chaired around Disney to go on all of the rides.

I think my favorite moment from Orlando was when we went to a free breakfast but I would find out that it was free because we had to listen to a timeshare presentation. My mother swore she wouldn’t get it…she got it (later canceled it). It’s a weird memory but I still remember it.

My mother took me to off-broadway shows and exposed me to the arts. My mother got me into Comedy and always had a good sense of humor.

I appreciate my mother and I accept her as well. She is not perfect because no one is but she ALWAYS tried her best.

My mother subscribes to my Substack and I know she’ll see this. I love you and Happy Mother’s Day.