Heart-Warming Messages From My Biggest Fans

*Prepare for lots of sarcasm*

Without my biggest fans, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.

I wanted to take the time to show my appreciation for the most thoughtful, caring, and encouraging people in the world who took the time to carefully craft these heart-warming messages.

This fan was so excited to write me that they forgot to turn off their caps lock!

Many of my fans fall in love with me and attempt to cross the line into a sexual relationship. I have to remind them that I'm happily married!

I've had fans who reminded me about the importance of practicing safe sex.

Some of my fans are shy and have a fear of public speaking. My DMs have become an Internet Toastmasters for them.

Sometimes my fans overshare with me because they feel a kinship between us.

My fans often ask me deep philosophical questions. I mean, who am I really? I've still yet to find the answer to this thought-provoking query!

Since I've announced my weight loss journey, my fans are always reminding me to be mindful of my portions.

Often my fans use anonymous accounts because they are incredibly shy. Either way, I appreciate their love.

Sometimes my fans engage in vigorous debates with me to seek truth and we walk away feeling more enlightened than we did before.

The new fans sometimes mistype my name. I forgive them.

On top of being a writer, author, and political commentator, one of my fans thinks I should become an actor as well. They even had a role they thought I should audition for! They're so encouraging!

My fans want to stay up to date on my latest commentary, so they frequently add me to lists to prevent them from missing out on my work.

Education is a top priority for many of my fans and they feel the need to tell me their favorite letter in the alphabet.

My fans tend to know me so well that they don't even ask my opinion on matters and often invent fan-fiction narratives about my beliefs. I mean, the imagination of these people is profound!

Some of these fans are part of exclusive lists filled with individuals who lots of people keep a close eye on.

But at the end of the day, my fans are attracted to me and want a special bond. I appreciate them all.

Without them, there is no me!