Instead of a Mid-Life Crisis, I have Mid-Life Clarity

On August 1st, I’ll be 42 years old but instead of having a mid-life crisis, I’m having mid-life clarity.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been mostly disconnected from the internet and instead tethered to reality.

This has brought me into a place of directly helping people who need the most help while forcing me to consider the broader context of mortality.

I accepted an IT position that has me helping businesses and residents with their technical issues.

It came at a perfect time as I was winding down with filming my documentary, “The Illegal Highways,” and seamlessly transitioned into this role.

In my position, it’s a wide range of issues that I’m constantly dealing with, from helping multi-million-dollar businesses to sitting next to a 91-year-old woman helping her with her Zoom.

Coincidentally, we are about a mile away from a senior living facility and they always want our help for obvious reasons. At least once a week, I’m walking into their facility to give one of the many elderly people there assistance with their technical issues.

From my position, these issues are never difficult and don’t require me to bring tools to repair anything. It’s either education-oriented or they just needed some hands to connect something that they couldn’t do for themselves.

I’ve been working with computers since I was a teenager and have almost 20 years of IT work experience. Maybe a different person would have an ego about doing simple things like these when they’re capable of much more complexity; but I don’t.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that every person that I’ve helped thus far has been incredibly kind and thankful for the help I’ve given them. I typically go the extra mile with them if need be, but more often than not, I try to give them confidence to work on their computer properly.

Last week, after helping a woman in her 90s connect her new computer, I realized that these are things that her children or grandchildren could be doing. I actually talked to her son who was states away and would periodically fly in to help his mother.

It hit me that these people are paying for a service because they are essentially by themselves. A number of them have told me they don’t know what they would do if we weren’t there.

I used to have thoughts of retiring and moving far away, but now that my son is 20 years old, I consider where he’ll be and if I’ll be an active grandparent the day he has children.

I was mostly thinking about it from a standpoint of being there for my son and future grandchildren but never considered that there might be a day where my body has deteriorated and I physically just can’t do certain things.

That 90-year-old woman had a walker and she certainly would have been stuck on the floor if she tried crawling underneath her desk to connect her new desktop like I did.

Going to this senior living facility has forced me to think about my own mortality and the latter part of my life. On August 1st, I’ll be 42 years old but instead of having a mid-life crisis, I’m having mid-life clarity.

I think when you’re younger, you have a viewpoint of older people as being annoying or bothersome. You take for granted the ability to walk on your own, to not wake up in pain, or need help for simple tasks.

Coincidentally, younger people think their lives were successful when they can earn enough money to live far from everyone and retire early. They presume that they will always be as mobile as they are in their 30s.

In other words, we sometimes live like we are real-life Peter Pans, believing that we’ll never get old one day.

Going there has quickly become my favorite job because they actually need me. Even when I walk through their hallways, they always say “hello” and smile even if they are watching every step they make while using a walker.

We have one recurring customer who has a physical disability with his hands and he’s immensely grateful that we exist to help him.

I take my time with them because they are someone’s parent and grandparent. If I were in their shoes and had no choice but to hire someone, I’d want someone like myself to handhold simple things to have a little bit of relief.

I try to take lessons from every experience and person I encounter. Being wrapped up in daily culture war nonsense was wearing on me and being around real people, and some of the most vulnerable, has given me a necessary reality reboot.

We can argue about trivial things we have no control over or we can spend time enjoying life before it’s over. We can fight with our opposition or we can use that energy to embrace our family members before they end up 6 feet deep.

I wish my mother didn’t move so far away but I will be making more of an effort to see her.

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Spend your days wisely.