Becoming a father has been the greatest blessing of my life and an honor my father missed out on. When my son was born, I knew I didn’t want to be like my father: a selfish man who chose everything over his children.
Growing up, Father’s Day meant nothing to me, but now, as a father, it has become a moment to reflect on my growth as a man for both myself and my son.
He’s now 19 years old, approaching life with honor and holding himself to a higher standard than his peers.
I remember talking to him about a new friend (he was about 15 years old), and when I inquired about how things were going, he told me he’d stopped reaching out to him.
When I asked why, he said, “Because he smokes weed, and I don’t want to be around that.”
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He’s calm, reasonable, and incredibly polite because of years of guidance and discipleship. At his age, he’s far more prepared for the world than I was and confident in achieving whatever he sets his mind to, thanks to the lessons I’ve taught him.
For decades, I was unsure about most things I attempted because I lacked a father to encourage me. When I messed up, I thought I was the only one who made such mistakes.
When my son made a mistake or faced hardship, I always talked to him about it, explaining that it’s a normal part of life. I’d share my experiences so he wouldn’t take it personally or let it stop him from pursuing his goals.
When his first girlfriend broke up with him, we discussed it, and I shared stories of my own breakups in an age-appropriate way. After that conversation, I could see his shoulders no longer slouched as hope returned.
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This week, I’ve had several conversations with men, and a common theme emerged: they didn’t feel fully accepted by their fathers. Nothing they did was ever good enough or worth celebrating. Their interests were either ignored or dismissed by the most important man in their lives.
When my son told me he wanted to move to Japan to become a manga artist, I could have easily shot down the idea and told him to get a “real” profession like a closed-minded father. But I didn’t.
Instead, I told him the truth: it would be incredibly challenging, and he might not succeed, but it was worth trying if it was his passion. If it didn’t work out, he was young enough to pivot, but he shouldn’t live with regret for not trying.
He took online Japanese language courses, and I introduced him to an artist friend, George Alexopoulos, who gave him realistic expectations about the journey ahead.
Years later, he decided to become an electrician instead, but it was always his choice to live life on his terms. I made it clear that I love him regardless of his career path.
I believe every child wants to know this: that their parent’s love and acceptance aren’t contingent on external successes or failures. My love for my son is not transactional. As long as he’s happy and upholds ethical values, I’m fine with whatever he chooses to do with his life.
Being a father is not just a noun; it’s a verb. It’s about love through action and sacrifice. Fatherhood, for me, has always been about preparing my son for the world so he can have a better life than I did.
I never wanted him to question whether his father loved him, as I did with my own father. We have mutual respect and admiration for each other. There is no greater joy than watching your child overcome obstacles on their own and achieve their goals.
It’s an honor to be his father.
I admire and respect what you have done and are doing with your son. Fatherhood is a sacred and fulfilling duty and obligation. And the rewards are beyond whatever other pleasures might come from other pursuits. Bravo to you although you don't really need that. You have your reward in your son's behavior and outlook.
Beautiful! Thank you. Indeed, an honor and gift to
ourselves to be parents. Happy Father’s Day!