Relationships & Political Differences: How My Wife and I Overcome This Obstacle
The way some people talk about relationships, they make it seem like you must find someone who is exactly like yourself.
However, when I met my wife, we didn't even share the same politics yet she became my biggest supporter in my political writing career.
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Earlier in 2019, I was going through a political transformation as I was becoming more inquisitive about other forms of media outside of the mainstream and started listening to all types of political perspectives so I could formulate my own opinion.
I was a Democrat who was pulling away from the party and wanted to go down the path of political independence rather than supporting whatever a given party found to be politically expedient. I wanted to follow my values and that year was the beginning of that journey.
By the time my wife and I were dating in September 2019, I was completely done with the party and I would occasionally share my opinions with her. I remember one time I sent her an interesting video featuring Larry Elder and she gave me a vague response back after watching it.
My wife was what we would call a "Default Democrat" and while she wasn't a highly political person, being anything other than a Democrat while being black was a foreign concept to her. Everyone in her family voted this way and her friendship circle was much of the same.
She would later admit to me that after watching that Larry Elder video she thought to herself "I really like him but how is this going to work?"
One thing about me is that I don't like forcing anything on people and that includes pushing politics or ideology on people.
If we were having a political discussion, I never argued with her or made her feel bad if she didn't know something: I just said how I felt and we talked about it. She never felt compelled to agree with me because to me love was more important than agreement.
When I started writing my book "Black Victim To Black Victor", I would send her my daily writings while she was riding the train to work and she would always give me her feedback and encouragement to keep going. When an editor fell through, she stepped up & helped me edit my book.
As my writing and commentary career started taking off, she did everything possible to assist me. She'd alter her schedule to make sure she didn't interfere with a podcast interview or adjust when she prepared dinner so I could eat before a media appearance.
She's flown with me to multiple conferences to assist me in selling copies of my book and would transform into the best saleswoman you could ever ask for. She'd give them her personal testimony about how my book changed her life and talk me up way more than I ever could.
It would be in those moments that I would sit back and listen in awe as she described to a complete stranger how proud of me she is, how much I impacted her life for the better, and how much she respects me for everything that I've accomplished thus far.
To this day, I don't know if my wife agrees with everything I say but that doesn't matter to me: what matters is that she understands where I'm coming from. I know some of her positions have shifted because we communicate all the time and she's always willing to change her mind.
One of the many things I love about my wife is how open she is to new ideas and experiences. We didn't even listen to the same music when we met, as I listen to mostly electronic music, yet last year she went with me to a techno club in Berlin for the first time & had a blast.
Sometimes what makes a relationship beautiful are the differences between two people. We're a testament to how respect for our individual experiences brought us closer despite our differences. We respect each other and always strive to understand each other.
Today is my wife's birthday and I look forward to spending every birthday with her for the rest of my life. I'm greatly appreciative that my wife saw the core of who I am rather than what party I wasn't voting for.
Love, respect, and openness are our foundation & nothing can penetrate it.