The Amazing Americans Who Kept Me From Sleeping in My Car
The first of my new writing series called "Amazing Americans"
I believe Americans are amazing because I’ve met many firsthand who have thankfully impacted me positively.
In this writing series, I want to begin by talking about a group of people I barely knew that sacrificed so I didn’t have to sleep in my car after moving to Tennessee.
Prior to moving to Tennessee, I was living at home in New Jersey and wanted a change in my life for better economic opportunity.
At the time, I had a good friendship with a guy who lived in Nashville, and we talked daily about cars and life. I was 21 years old, and we had discussed the possibility of me moving out to Nashville to learn autobody work.
In my early 20s, I was passionate about cars and thought I’d want to switch into the automotive profession. In several conversations, he said he knew someone who could possibly get me work as an apprentice.
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Where would I stay? Well, he said he had a house, and I could crash with him until I got myself settled.
Before making any hasty decisions, I decided to drive to Nashville and meet this friend and his auto shop friend to see if this was relatively legitimate.
When I met him, he had me meet at his parents’ house because he was supposedly there helping them. Later that day, he had me briefly meet his friend to solidify the image of this entire endeavor coming true.
In hindsight, his friend looked kind of confused as to who I was, but for many years, I struggled with trusting my instincts and would lean on blind optimism. Deep down inside, I wanted this to work because I was desperate.
I was working a dead-end job, I had just had a child, and I knew that I needed to take a major risk to find some sort of success in life to ultimately take care of my son.
When I came back home to New Jersey, I knew I was leaving for Nashville—a place I’d only visited for a couple of days. I had no family there, no life connections there other than this guy I met online, and starting over was going to be a massive overhaul in my life.
I thought if it worked out, I could have my son and his mother come with me, and maybe we could finally make our relationship work to become a family. But in the short term, I was going to be away from him, which hurt more than I thought it would because I was incredibly attached to him.
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The one smart thing I did was find a job at an alarm company before moving out there. I applied from New Jersey and told them everything about me moving there. My boss understood the entire situation and had the job waiting for me.
The day had finally come for me to drive to Nashville with all of my belongings stuffed into a Mitsubishi Eclipse, but I’d get no answer from my friend on the phone. Call after call, no answer.
It wasn’t until I was a couple hours away from Nashville that he finally answered. “Sorry man, you can’t stay here.” My heart sank, and I didn’t know what to do. Admittedly, I was already kind of broke but hoped that a new job would get me out of the dumps quickly.
Here I am on a Friday night after driving over 13 hours to Nashville, and I have no place to go. I may write about this in the future, but I coincidentally had another car friend in Huntsville, Alabama, who let me stay with him for the weekend so I didn’t have to spend my last dollars on a hotel.
Monday rolls around, and it’s my first day on the job. It was like this looming secret in my head, and I didn’t know if I should say anything or not. These people don’t know me, and I don’t know if it would negatively impact my job—one I desperately needed.
A couple hours into my shift, my boss pulls me into his office for a friendly chat. “So, everything go okay with staying with your friend?” It was a crossroads for me: being honest or lying to hide my embarrassment.
For some reason, I told him the truth; I told him everything. I tried to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal because I could just sleep in my car in the meantime.
He looked legitimately concerned and told me he would get back to me later that day.
Before the end of my shift, he talked to me again in his office and told me that none of management wanted to see me sleep in my car.
This man got together with all the supervisors—with discretion in mind—told them my situation, and asked if they’d be willing to pool some money together to place me in a hotel for as long as I needed.
Even writing about it still brings tears to my eyes. These people knew me for less than a day and were willing to commit to helping me have a warm place to sleep for weeks.
They paid for my hotel rooms and, I believe, gave me a little cash to get some food to eat. If my memory serves me, I believe they paid for upwards of 5 weeks for me to stay in a weekly hotel before I had enough money to get my own apartment.
No one outside of management ever knew what was going on with me. Once in a while, a supervisor would ask during a shift if I was alright—almost like code speak for them wanting to sincerely make sure I was safe.
There was never a discussion of me paying them back or anything like that. However, for me, I paid them back by being the best damn employee they ever had. Any time they needed someone to work overtime, I took it. I went above and beyond to show my appreciation for the people who sacrificed when they didn’t even know me.
For a long time, I was ashamed of the situation I put myself in. 20 years since this happened, I still don’t know if I told my mother all of these details because I felt foolish; this was the primary reason I didn’t ask her for help at the time.
I would later find out that my “friend” didn’t have his own home and that he falsified a lot about his life. His car friend didn’t know who I was or what the plans were.
His girlfriend would later reach out to me months later apologizing to me because she knew what was going on and wished she’d said something to me before I left my life behind.
These Amazing Americans, who were of various ages, races, and sexual orientations, all cared about me—a complete stranger. They didn’t want anything from me other than for me to be safe in the world.
So, when I say that Americans are amazing, it’s not an empty slogan to me.
It stems from various encounters with people who helped me when I was in need and inspire me to be a better man, father, and citizen of this great nation.
America is great because of the heart of its people; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Yes, these managers were good to you. But you were also good to them.
I am retired now, but used to be an employer. There is a myth that employers control everything and can treat employees however they wish. Far from it. Finding good employees was always the most difficult pat of my job. Paying more does not necessarily get you better employees. You can't pay a person to have character. You have to find people with character, and then treat well and pay them well in order to keep them.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Despite the deceit of your “friend”, and the terrible situation it placed you in, you instead chose to continue to trust, and step up in a difficult situation, and focus on the kindness and blessings you were given. This is the way. ❤️