A Mother's Acceptance is Love and My Mother Accepted Me

If there is one thing I can say about my mother, it's that she accepted me for me. She didn't try to pressure me to become someone I wasn't comfortable with or make it seem like something was wrong with me.

She accepts me for who I am because she genuinely loves me.

As long as I can remember, I never liked fitting into a box of expectations, especially around interests and behavior. It always felt limiting to let some idea of what you're supposed to be trump what actually satisfies you & often times that box was determined by my skin color.

I was different than other black kids because I liked rock music and at one point wanted to learn to play the guitar. I dressed differently, not because I wanted to stand out or be rebellious: I just liked how it looked on me.

However, sometimes seeking comfort makes other people uncomfortable and you get ridiculed or ostracized for not adhering to the expectations of a crowd. But despite what some in the outside world thought of me, my mother accepted my choices and allowed me to find myself.

I could only imagine my mother coming from a generation that listens to Luther Vandross to find her son blasting Metallica and Anthrax in his bedroom. I wouldn't be surprised if she thought I was a little weird listening to some electronic music track with odd sounds & no words.

But she never stood in the way of me discovering myself. She didn't try to throw away my Metal tapes or CDs and she didn't try to persuade me to buy FUBU instead of my massive Kickwear jeans.

Sure, she was probably concerned especially when I made massive changes but she didn't stop me. She knew some of these things were phases, like when I bleached my hair a few times, and she let me go through it and didn't shame me for going outside of the box.

I was always introverted and quiet around most people and would talk when I was comfortable doing so. A lot of people don't understand this and think you're either being standoffish, upset, or something is wrong with you.

However, when someone would say to her "What's wrong with him?", she would reply, "He's always quiet. That's Adam." One of the things I really appreciate about my mother is that she didn't try to change my nature. Instead, she understood who I was and what made me comfortable.

To this day, I am quiet around people because I'm observing my surroundings and many aren't used to this. I can sit in a room for an hour, not say a word because I am listening to the various conversations happening and this abnormality makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

But very few people in my life not only understand this about me but accept it as well. She's never told me to talk more or imply something is wrong with me, she simply embraced my uniqueness.

There were times that I thought there was something wrong with me but my mother never budged. She affirmed that my being different is what makes me special. The reason I can say things counter-narrative in the face of possible public ridicule is because of my mother's love.

She reads my writings and she doesn't always agree with me but she doesn't fight me to conform to how she sees the world, she just lets me be. It's not often in life that you'll find anyone who accepts you and believes in you at the same time: My mother is one of them.

As I get older, I appreciate my mother more. I've realized that I've often viewed events in my life through a critical lens, allowing her flaws to eclipse the numerous blessings she has bestowed upon me. However, maturity helped me to reflect with clarity on the character of my mother.

For this Mother's Day, as much as she tirelessly accepted me throughout my life, I want to work just as hard to accept her for who she is.

Acceptance is love and I love my mother. Happy Mother's Day Mom (I know she'll read this).