You sound like a great dad. Your son is very lucky! My problem with weight is that when I look in the mirror, I still see the cute 21 year old girl. I don't see the very heavy 54 year old. I am trying hard to see and make the changes I need to.
Another wonderful and personal piece that highlights things that people...men, really...just don't want to talk about. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. Its inspiring. Thank you.
I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. The fact is that most of us gain weight once we're out of our twenties. Our metabolisms slow down and fortunately food is plentiful. The obesity epidemic is not limited to the United States; it is in fact a problem in much of the developed world. You can call it 'slovenly' behavior, but the reality is that you've got a lot of company, myself included, for some very good reasons. I won't deny that being a recommended weight probably equals a lower chance of heart attack and stroke, but at the same time we have to remember that everyone eventually dies from something. If you're miserable because of your weight, by all means do something about it, but don't let it define you. You're a father, husband, writer and communicator, not just some fat guy. Calling yourself 'slovenly' speaks of self esteem problems more than anything else.
Insecurity is endemic to the human condition. Many of us have it in one form or another. Software developers like myself are familiar with 'imposter syndrome' -- thinking that they work among people who are probably smarter than they are and that they're not as qualified -- when the reality is that they're amazing, competent, capable people in their own right with some self esteem issues. I think you're in the same boat. That's not a weakness, it just makes you human.
I understand what you're saying. I'm purposely am harsh about my life because being passive about it didn't accomplish anything for me. I didn't just add a couple of pounds, but nearly a hundred. If I told you what I ate at my worse, you'd understand why I used the word slovenly.
I'm harsh because I want to change it. We are insecure but it doesn't mean we have to accept it. If it bothers you, address it and actively work on it. That's how you get better in life. This is my mentality and why I'm using such language when talking about my flaws. The opposite approach didn't work.
That’s an important point: not everyone gets motivated the same way. Some are motivated by praise and encouragement (a cycle of positive feedback); others counterintuitively respond to harsh criticism (motivating them to “prove that wrong). The exact same technique can inspire completely different results in two individuals.
Excellent article.
You sound like a great dad. Your son is very lucky! My problem with weight is that when I look in the mirror, I still see the cute 21 year old girl. I don't see the very heavy 54 year old. I am trying hard to see and make the changes I need to.
Excellent. Thank you!
Our children need us, even if we sometimes fall short. Your son made a good decision because he had a father to guide him.
Another wonderful and personal piece that highlights things that people...men, really...just don't want to talk about. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. Its inspiring. Thank you.
I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. The fact is that most of us gain weight once we're out of our twenties. Our metabolisms slow down and fortunately food is plentiful. The obesity epidemic is not limited to the United States; it is in fact a problem in much of the developed world. You can call it 'slovenly' behavior, but the reality is that you've got a lot of company, myself included, for some very good reasons. I won't deny that being a recommended weight probably equals a lower chance of heart attack and stroke, but at the same time we have to remember that everyone eventually dies from something. If you're miserable because of your weight, by all means do something about it, but don't let it define you. You're a father, husband, writer and communicator, not just some fat guy. Calling yourself 'slovenly' speaks of self esteem problems more than anything else.
Insecurity is endemic to the human condition. Many of us have it in one form or another. Software developers like myself are familiar with 'imposter syndrome' -- thinking that they work among people who are probably smarter than they are and that they're not as qualified -- when the reality is that they're amazing, competent, capable people in their own right with some self esteem issues. I think you're in the same boat. That's not a weakness, it just makes you human.
I understand what you're saying. I'm purposely am harsh about my life because being passive about it didn't accomplish anything for me. I didn't just add a couple of pounds, but nearly a hundred. If I told you what I ate at my worse, you'd understand why I used the word slovenly.
I'm harsh because I want to change it. We are insecure but it doesn't mean we have to accept it. If it bothers you, address it and actively work on it. That's how you get better in life. This is my mentality and why I'm using such language when talking about my flaws. The opposite approach didn't work.
Thank you, I’m in a similar place and this is helping me.
That’s an important point: not everyone gets motivated the same way. Some are motivated by praise and encouragement (a cycle of positive feedback); others counterintuitively respond to harsh criticism (motivating them to “prove that wrong). The exact same technique can inspire completely different results in two individuals.