From Lonely To Married: How To Attract Healthy Women
If you want to attract women, you need to become attractive
With the abundance of lonely and late 20s virgin men who are desperate for a healthy relationship, the demand for sound advice to change these circumstances has also increased.
I wanted to give some logical advice as someone who used to struggle with attracting women.
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Because I grew up without my father involved in my life, I missed out on a lot of simple lessons that any healthy father would explain to their son. Many of those lessons were about how to approach interacting with women and how to attract healthy women for lasting relationships.
I believe the root of many of these men's issues stems from childhood with them either growing up where their father was absent or their father was physically present but uninterested in equipping their sons with priceless information, leaving their boys confused & unconfident.
This lack of confidence will be the number one deterrent to finding a healthy female partner because women are extremely attracted to confident men. Confidence can't be faked, so it has to be genuine. But how do you build confidence? Simple: Create small wins in your life.
This is the same advice I would give someone who is depressed because depression often correlates with the lack of confidence phenomenon. What I mean by creating small wins is when you find a small task or routine, it could be anything, and you focus on accomplishing it.
The feeling of accomplishing this task, even though it is small, gives you the emotional boost to accomplish the next, and over time, your goals for accomplishment become bigger. The sense of doubt and pessimism about your capability will eventually dissipate: it worked for me.
Mind you, the point of building your confidence isn't necessarily to feel confident about approaching women because that's not really the objective: the goal is to attract women. Young men tend to believe they need to have some one-liner or flash to get a woman but I disagree.
If you want a healthy partner then you want a healthy approach to attracting a partner, meaning, you should stay away from "tricking" women with manipulative tactics. Instead, if you focus on becoming the man they desire, you won't need to manipulate a woman into bed with you.
What I learned was that building myself up as a man was far more important than chasing women because if you become a desirable man, you won't need to chase and at the end of the day, your growth as an individual will show in various areas of your life and not just with women.
When I lacked confidence, I reeked of desperation which tends to function like women repellent. When I finally got a girlfriend, I was desperate to keep her attention, and that desperation led to the destruction of that relationship.
Young men sometimes feel confused about how to talk to women and it's simple: talk to them like a human being. Treating them like special unicorns is what desperate men do, confident men treat them like everyone else: women can smell your fear of embarrassment.
Stay away from giving women unearned praise as this signifies desperation and manipulation. Telling her she's beautiful 10 times comes off as manipulative because she's wondering why you keep saying this and will presume you're hiding your true self.
If you want to attract a woman, you have to become attractive and what is attractive is a man who is sure of himself and comfortable with his own existence in a healthy manner. You attract what you put out, so if you're a sub-par man, you'll get a sub-par woman.
If you're comfortable with yourself internally, it will inevitably reflect on the exterior as well. If you struggle with style, ask a female friend for help or allow your partner to help dress you. But what you have control over is your hygiene: brush your teeth & get a haircut.
How you appear sends signals to people & if you look sickly or unkept, people will presume you are an unwell person in behavior too: this doesn't bode well for your relationship or career success. How you would appear on a job interview should be similar to daily life.
The hyper-focus on what a man earns is exaggerated. Healthy women are more focused on a man's potential than a man's current bank balance because potential means you have all of the attributes to become successful and those attributes are sexy to a woman.
Your success in the relationship marketplace has more to do with you as a man than it does with the women you're trying to attract. Becoming a healthy & confident man is what led to me getting married to a beautiful woman.
If you're the problem, then you're also the solution.