Oxytocin is the hormone we release in the bonding process. Our brains become attached to the partner and we begin to form shared memories. Separation from the partner becomes separation from the oxytocin and the shared mind: it is deeply painful, like missing a part of yourself.
For more on the neurological/emotional importance of vulnerability, I invite people to watch these videos. Vulnerability is key to intimacy, but the key to vulnerability is emotional understanding, tolerance, and resilience.
Adam's explanation on the subject of relationships was enlightening, and I wholeheartedly agree with his perspectives. However, there's a deeper layer to this discussion that merits our attention. The crux of a healthy relationship with others hinges fundamentally on our relationship with ourselves.
When we seek fulfillment from external sources, especially from other people, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It's a common misconception to believe that another person can complete us, leading to a life of misery rather than contentment. Why would we subject ourselves, let alone someone we claim to love, to such an incomplete union? Love should not be about binding another to our own inadequacies.
The fairy-tale narrative of two people meeting, completing each other, and living happily ever after is not only misleading but harmful. It promotes a dependency that undermines the individual strengths we should bring to a relationship. Life, in its true form, is a tapestry of challenges – health issues, financial struggles, and emotional turbulence. The notion of a 'happily ever after' is a fantasy that distracts us from the reality of these challenges.
Handling life's complexities alone is essential before attempting to share them with someone else. It's not just about survival; it's about thriving independently. Without this individual resilience, we risk projecting our emotional instability onto our partners, an act that is selfish and destructive. We must strive to enhance our capability to navigate life's trials, offering ourselves grace and understanding that perfection is unattainable. This journey of self-improvement and emotional regulation is not just preparatory; it is continual and evolving.
Marriage or any form of committed partnership is not about finding a romanticized ideal partner. It's about finding someone with whom you can share the realities of life. It's about mutual understanding, shared burdens, and a partnership that can withstand the trials of life. It's about a shared resilience, not just shared interests.
The goal, then, is not merely to find someone who can weather life's storms with us but to be the kind of person who is equipped to do so. The emphasis should be on becoming a person who can contribute positively to a relationship, not on finding someone to solve our problems or fill our emotional gaps. The foundation of any healthy relationship is two individuals who are complete in themselves, capable of providing support, understanding, and love.
In conclusion, the pursuit of a healthy relationship starts with an introspective journey. It's about becoming someone capable of handling life's intricacies and being emotionally stable. Only then can we hope to build a relationship that is based on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine love, rather than dependency and unrealistic expectations.
I feel like Love is too general of term most of the time. The Love I feel for my wife is what I think most people mean when they say the word. I would lay my life down without hesitation for her. She is my other half, we have stared down Hell together, and she’s down to the end. She is the Present. There are others in my life who I love, but even my kids are a step bellow my partner. I would also lay my life down for them without hesitation. They are the Future and valued as such. The love I feel for my parents is different yet, and far more complicated, yet still a kind of love. Respect is involved and they are the Past, sorry but the Wheel turns and the world moves on. Then, there is love I feel for my fellow human. Empathy with hard edge. We are all here to help walk each other home, and have a duty to do so. But I have responsibilities to but a few ❤️
If it is always all about you, it isn't love.
Exactly
This is just beautiful; thank you for sharing.
Thank you! My pleasure.
Oxytocin is the hormone we release in the bonding process. Our brains become attached to the partner and we begin to form shared memories. Separation from the partner becomes separation from the oxytocin and the shared mind: it is deeply painful, like missing a part of yourself.
For more on the neurological/emotional importance of vulnerability, I invite people to watch these videos. Vulnerability is key to intimacy, but the key to vulnerability is emotional understanding, tolerance, and resilience.
https://www.zephyrwellness.org/media/2021/2/12/emotional-functioning
Adam's explanation on the subject of relationships was enlightening, and I wholeheartedly agree with his perspectives. However, there's a deeper layer to this discussion that merits our attention. The crux of a healthy relationship with others hinges fundamentally on our relationship with ourselves.
When we seek fulfillment from external sources, especially from other people, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It's a common misconception to believe that another person can complete us, leading to a life of misery rather than contentment. Why would we subject ourselves, let alone someone we claim to love, to such an incomplete union? Love should not be about binding another to our own inadequacies.
The fairy-tale narrative of two people meeting, completing each other, and living happily ever after is not only misleading but harmful. It promotes a dependency that undermines the individual strengths we should bring to a relationship. Life, in its true form, is a tapestry of challenges – health issues, financial struggles, and emotional turbulence. The notion of a 'happily ever after' is a fantasy that distracts us from the reality of these challenges.
Handling life's complexities alone is essential before attempting to share them with someone else. It's not just about survival; it's about thriving independently. Without this individual resilience, we risk projecting our emotional instability onto our partners, an act that is selfish and destructive. We must strive to enhance our capability to navigate life's trials, offering ourselves grace and understanding that perfection is unattainable. This journey of self-improvement and emotional regulation is not just preparatory; it is continual and evolving.
Marriage or any form of committed partnership is not about finding a romanticized ideal partner. It's about finding someone with whom you can share the realities of life. It's about mutual understanding, shared burdens, and a partnership that can withstand the trials of life. It's about a shared resilience, not just shared interests.
The goal, then, is not merely to find someone who can weather life's storms with us but to be the kind of person who is equipped to do so. The emphasis should be on becoming a person who can contribute positively to a relationship, not on finding someone to solve our problems or fill our emotional gaps. The foundation of any healthy relationship is two individuals who are complete in themselves, capable of providing support, understanding, and love.
In conclusion, the pursuit of a healthy relationship starts with an introspective journey. It's about becoming someone capable of handling life's intricacies and being emotionally stable. Only then can we hope to build a relationship that is based on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine love, rather than dependency and unrealistic expectations.
I feel like Love is too general of term most of the time. The Love I feel for my wife is what I think most people mean when they say the word. I would lay my life down without hesitation for her. She is my other half, we have stared down Hell together, and she’s down to the end. She is the Present. There are others in my life who I love, but even my kids are a step bellow my partner. I would also lay my life down for them without hesitation. They are the Future and valued as such. The love I feel for my parents is different yet, and far more complicated, yet still a kind of love. Respect is involved and they are the Past, sorry but the Wheel turns and the world moves on. Then, there is love I feel for my fellow human. Empathy with hard edge. We are all here to help walk each other home, and have a duty to do so. But I have responsibilities to but a few ❤️
That was a hopeful and beautiful narrative of love.