Why I'm No Longer Discussing Politics With Family And Friends
This boundary isn't to punish them; it's to save what we have from being unnecessarily corrupted.
If I've made a mistake since becoming public with my political opinions, it has been that I didn't set a strict boundary about discussing politics with close friends and family.
Personally, I'd rather not talk to anyone around me about politics because there are more interesting topics to discuss than who they voted for and why they hate or love a particular politician.
The last thing I want to know about someone I've grown up with my entire life is the nuances of the party they support because it's irrelevant to why I love them.
Politics is incredibly personal for most people, and too many treat their political opinions like their children, causing them to get borderline violent, as if you insulted one of their kids.
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I'm a rarity in that I don't take politics personally in that way, and I can talk about it like we're discussing how the Knicks or Mets lost another game the night before. Just like when they go on a losing streak, I don't lose sleep over either.
Whether you like my team doesn't matter to me either: That's your prerogative.
Recently, someone close to me started sending me unsolicited videos with messages attached. At first, I thought they were just viral videos of random stuff, so I didn't watch them. Honestly, I didn't even pay attention to them until they continuously sent me stuff over several days, which was abnormal.
I finally looked at the messages, and they were all political nonsense with messages about "losing rights" and what I supposedly support. When someone does this, they've already assumed what you think and hold you to blame.
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When I responded to this person, they brought up how, since political commentary is my job, they wanted to hear my opinion. But inserting what you claim I believe isn't a statement of curiosity: You've already decided what I believe without asking me.
While I don't care if people agree with my politics or not, what bothers me is when they don't even bother to ask me. I've found that most people have no real clue about the nuances of my politics. They have no idea how much information I have or the people I have access to in order to formulate my opinions.
It doesn't mean that I'm always right, but it means that my assessment is based on more than some random propaganda video they saw on Instagram or TikTok.
For example, when the debate was happening about the alleged "Don't Say Gay" bill, I talked directly to the Florida Press Secretary for details on the bill, and he showed me exactly what the bill says (of course, nothing about being gay).
Most people don't have this capability or privilege. This is not a statement of bragging; it's just to say that when you assert my beliefs, you're always going to miss the mark.
All they know is that I voted for Trump, so I must support and like everything he does. They have no clue that I didn't even decide to vote for Trump until a few months prior and considered sitting out this election.
They have no idea that my decision to vote for him was more pragmatic than out of outright love for him. They don't know what my real political interests are or what motivates me.
This is the biggest problem I have with political discussions with people: They aren't curious. They just want to argue about nonsense that doesn't matter. They want to yell at the archetype of what they hate, and since they can't voice their displeasure with them directly, you'll become the avatar to direct their animosity.
For years, I've had to put up with people saying, "I don't always agree with you," but never telling me what they actually disagree with me on. They never want to talk to me, but they'll talk about me with everyone around me.
But you know what? I'm at the point where I don't want them to tell me what they disagree about. The days of me being open to dialogue are gone, and there is a good reason for this.
When I responded to this person, I was angry, and I don't want to feel that way about anyone I care about. I wasn't angry that they had political differences; I was angry that they were using me as an outlet for their political frustrations.
Just because I do this for work doesn't mean I want it infused into all of my relationships. My wife and I never discuss politics because there are far more interesting things to talk about. Politics muddies the waters of relationships, and it doesn't need to.
This was partially my fault for not standing firm on a boundary about discussing politics with people close to me. I never liked doing it, even if they agreed with me. Our relationships were never dependent on it, and they don't need to be today.
So, moving forward, if someone wants to talk about it, I'm just going to end the conversation and tell them that I don't discuss these things anymore. I care more about my relationships with people than I do about who they vote for and why.
If they can't handle this, then that's their problem, not mine. I no longer care if they misinterpret me or not. This boundary isn't to punish them; it's to save what we have from being unnecessarily corrupted.
I have a simple rule -- if you seek a respectful conversation, I'm game -- no matter how much we disagree. But if what you are really doing is simply a one-sided attack and you ignore my views, that is not a conversation. It is abusive and uncivil. Too many on the Left claim they are tolerant while exhibiting toxic, abusive rhetoric. And sadly, this also insulates them from learning facts to overcome the lies they have embraced in their hate cult..... This is why they are losing more support every day, as people in the middle, or within their own ranks, observe this folly.
After Church, we gather for donuts and coffee. We don't talk politics. One of my favorite people hates Trump, while I have never been more glad at my selection because I got Kennedy, Bhattacharya, Harmeet Dhillon, and Gabbard. Someone tried inserting a dig at Trump, and we all politely ignored it. That said, this courtesy is often not extended in deep Blue areas. Recently, I had revisionist CRT thrown at me at a museum, where I learned that the Spaniards oppressed the Muslims when they kicked them out of their country. So the warriors who conquered much of Europe in the 7th Century were actually oppressed by White Europeans. This was just one of her doozies. I told the docent her comments were offensive, to which she replied in true earnestness that it was the truth, so we needed to discuss it. I walked out and wrote an email of complaint. It was ignored because her boss will be of the same ilk. We no longer have public library fines because it hurts the poor. They have no idea how condescending it is to assume that following a calendar is restricted to a few.
After many years, I finally had a chance to watch South Park. I watched the episode on Trump using the Satan bit that they did for Hussein, which I thought was weird then. The episode skewered Christianity and Trump. Knowing it is South Park, I thought this was fair, but I became curious about what they did with Biden and Covid the man who encouraged war against the dissidents during Covid. A time when Chomsky called for the unvaxxed to be interned in camps, and Hochul was building them in NY. When I ran a search, no episodes came up about this. Only a few Reddit posts asking why there hadn't been any episodes. Real people were injured, and parents lost children. One man has spoken at many events about the loss of his son. I've watched in a few short years a burly man reduced to walking with a cane. He now assists with disasters and praises God. I know I am in the presence of a better human than I will ever be. So I am torn between being polite, knowing that there are many things to discuss besides politics, and enraged that these same people stood by as their fellow Americans were ridiculed and threatened - all for the greater good.