Exponential upvotes, Adam! Although my parents were married and my father was generally considered a good provider, as a young child I mostly saw him at the dinner table Mondays-Fridays. On Saturdays he usually did things like yardwork (which I could help with by fourth grade, but not much as a physically smaller child), and on Sundays the entire family went to church, but the times I spent 1:1 with my father stand out in my memory, sometimes because they were fun, but mostly because they were so very infrequent. While it's true that he worked hard at his paying job, he also was involved in community organizations and, according to my mother, was often absent during the early years of his children's lives.
When I was preschool age, it was not uncommon for girls to own sets of "wedding" paper dolls. My sister and I had one that came with two brides and two grooms and everyday as well as wedding clothing; when we played with them, we would first dress the grooms, then place them in the paper-doll box, saying "Go to the office." Play imitates life!
In my 30s, one of the men I worked for at my job reminded me a lot of my own father: he had two young sons, but in addition to his well-paying professional career, he also did consulting work on the side and sometimes lamented that he missed out on a lot of his children's lives. I sometimes wanted to tell him, "I had a father a lot like you. . .your children would rather spend more time with you than have a little more money!" Because we were on "office friendly" terms and I didn't want to ruin a good work relationship, I never did.
I was not close at all to my father until my early 20s.
It’s difficult to consider time when one is young. When looking forward in life as a young man, time spreads ahead of you and seems almost endless. To the extent that most people give it any thought, it seems that the common thread is that there will always be time for everything. Of course this isn’t true but sadly most people don’t gain that important perspective until later in life. By that time it’s too late because by then the children are no longer children.
An important message to all parents Adam, perhaps especially fathers. Thank you for putting it out there. It’s a message you should keep coming back to, along with encouragement to fathers to not just be there, but find ways to be involved in your children’s lives. Well done.
I agree but with some pushback. You're correct that being rich doesn't necessarily make one a good father, but different ways of parenting can produce good results, including the financially supportive but absent father. How the father treats the mother of his children and whether or not they are committed to each other and take care of each other is also important. But even if the parents aren't in a committed relationship, the parents can still model an agreed commitment to the children, but the value of children seeing the parents living and working together is another brick missing in many homes today, and both parents splitting time with their children cannot make up for that situation. I believe high divorce rates and the promiscuity of unmarried men and women that often leads to single parent households is the biggest contributor to younger generations delaying marriage. Add in the high rate of job changes compared to previous generations and that leads to a lack of emotional and financial security.
Capitalism always seeks to destroy or enslave the family unit, especially the extended family, because it is an economic unit which has different interests and priorities than those of capitalism.
IOW, it's a threat that must be destroyed. They've done a pretty good job of destroying families in the US, have they not?
You knocked another one out of the park! So true, my father stayed married to my mom throughout my childhood & provided well enough we were solid middle class, but that was about it, he had serious addiction problems to alcohol, drugs, hoarding & gambling. I was taught to lie early on by him because if anyone in authority found out what was going on in our house & family, we would have been gone & both my parents would have been in prison. He was not a pleasant person to be around at all, either. My mother had the same issues, which were just as bad. I grew up way too fast in that situation, many issues with my health & education were not addressed either, it was frustrating to hear how good I "had it" because on the surface we appeared to financially be provided for, I wasn't kept safe something a father also needs to do, when a father isn't there physically, emotionally or mentally they aren't keeping their children safe. It is a lot more than coin op parenting. I would have been happy to have less financially if I had a father without problems.
If you don’t think this ideology can cause children to cut off their parents, you haven’t got a clear picture of what’s been happening. Trans ideology is like a cult and it is very seductive to children. People in the cult encourage children to disregard the boundaries their parents set them at a time when they are naturally rebellious. Then these adults and peers often encourage children to sever ties with their parents if they don’t agree their child was born in the wrong body.
While I agree that Elon’s probable lack of time spent with his son may have been a source of the rift, I think you should be careful saying that is the only way this can happen.
The point was that ideology by itself, not that cultish beliefs cant convince people to do illogical things.
Cults are known for finding vulnerable people and if they are youth oriented, they find lost children who need a purpose. They fill in the family gap, which is why it's incredibly enticing for them.
If there is a strong foundation, it's unlikely to set in. If there is turmoil, separation etc. then it's more likely to work.
Note, I'm not speaking in absolutes. Anomalies happen. I'm striving to highlight what is more or less likely to occur.
It is true cults find vulnerable people and, I think, by definition, teens are vulnerable. I will however agree that strengthening the family makes them less so.
Exponential upvotes, Adam! Although my parents were married and my father was generally considered a good provider, as a young child I mostly saw him at the dinner table Mondays-Fridays. On Saturdays he usually did things like yardwork (which I could help with by fourth grade, but not much as a physically smaller child), and on Sundays the entire family went to church, but the times I spent 1:1 with my father stand out in my memory, sometimes because they were fun, but mostly because they were so very infrequent. While it's true that he worked hard at his paying job, he also was involved in community organizations and, according to my mother, was often absent during the early years of his children's lives.
When I was preschool age, it was not uncommon for girls to own sets of "wedding" paper dolls. My sister and I had one that came with two brides and two grooms and everyday as well as wedding clothing; when we played with them, we would first dress the grooms, then place them in the paper-doll box, saying "Go to the office." Play imitates life!
In my 30s, one of the men I worked for at my job reminded me a lot of my own father: he had two young sons, but in addition to his well-paying professional career, he also did consulting work on the side and sometimes lamented that he missed out on a lot of his children's lives. I sometimes wanted to tell him, "I had a father a lot like you. . .your children would rather spend more time with you than have a little more money!" Because we were on "office friendly" terms and I didn't want to ruin a good work relationship, I never did.
I was not close at all to my father until my early 20s.
It’s difficult to consider time when one is young. When looking forward in life as a young man, time spreads ahead of you and seems almost endless. To the extent that most people give it any thought, it seems that the common thread is that there will always be time for everything. Of course this isn’t true but sadly most people don’t gain that important perspective until later in life. By that time it’s too late because by then the children are no longer children.
An important message to all parents Adam, perhaps especially fathers. Thank you for putting it out there. It’s a message you should keep coming back to, along with encouragement to fathers to not just be there, but find ways to be involved in your children’s lives. Well done.
Thank you
I agree but with some pushback. You're correct that being rich doesn't necessarily make one a good father, but different ways of parenting can produce good results, including the financially supportive but absent father. How the father treats the mother of his children and whether or not they are committed to each other and take care of each other is also important. But even if the parents aren't in a committed relationship, the parents can still model an agreed commitment to the children, but the value of children seeing the parents living and working together is another brick missing in many homes today, and both parents splitting time with their children cannot make up for that situation. I believe high divorce rates and the promiscuity of unmarried men and women that often leads to single parent households is the biggest contributor to younger generations delaying marriage. Add in the high rate of job changes compared to previous generations and that leads to a lack of emotional and financial security.
The Jedi aren’t gonna like this one.
But it needs to be said.
Elon's son who calls himself Vivian is a male, full stop. Was a good piece until you took leave of biological reality.
I didnt call them female either.
This article isn't to debate transgender issue. Everything I write is for a reason, including what I don't write.
Fortunately for us, the UK Supreme Court recently settled the issue. Two sexes/genders only, and they can't change
Capitalism always seeks to destroy or enslave the family unit, especially the extended family, because it is an economic unit which has different interests and priorities than those of capitalism.
IOW, it's a threat that must be destroyed. They've done a pretty good job of destroying families in the US, have they not?
Or as I like to say: you cannot fire a rich man. You can only make him a better father.
Every child has the right to his/her own birth mommy an daddy, who live together and raise them together as best they can.
Where that's not possible, it's always a tragedy, and the people closest to the child do the very next best they can.
Not many left, but when I talked to depression kids, they were all poor, but if their family was doing the best they could, their kids were fine.
Well said! Money is not a substitute for time. Period.
So poignantly stated. 🙌🏾👏🏾
You knocked another one out of the park! So true, my father stayed married to my mom throughout my childhood & provided well enough we were solid middle class, but that was about it, he had serious addiction problems to alcohol, drugs, hoarding & gambling. I was taught to lie early on by him because if anyone in authority found out what was going on in our house & family, we would have been gone & both my parents would have been in prison. He was not a pleasant person to be around at all, either. My mother had the same issues, which were just as bad. I grew up way too fast in that situation, many issues with my health & education were not addressed either, it was frustrating to hear how good I "had it" because on the surface we appeared to financially be provided for, I wasn't kept safe something a father also needs to do, when a father isn't there physically, emotionally or mentally they aren't keeping their children safe. It is a lot more than coin op parenting. I would have been happy to have less financially if I had a father without problems.
If you don’t think this ideology can cause children to cut off their parents, you haven’t got a clear picture of what’s been happening. Trans ideology is like a cult and it is very seductive to children. People in the cult encourage children to disregard the boundaries their parents set them at a time when they are naturally rebellious. Then these adults and peers often encourage children to sever ties with their parents if they don’t agree their child was born in the wrong body.
While I agree that Elon’s probable lack of time spent with his son may have been a source of the rift, I think you should be careful saying that is the only way this can happen.
The point was that ideology by itself, not that cultish beliefs cant convince people to do illogical things.
Cults are known for finding vulnerable people and if they are youth oriented, they find lost children who need a purpose. They fill in the family gap, which is why it's incredibly enticing for them.
If there is a strong foundation, it's unlikely to set in. If there is turmoil, separation etc. then it's more likely to work.
Note, I'm not speaking in absolutes. Anomalies happen. I'm striving to highlight what is more or less likely to occur.
It is true cults find vulnerable people and, I think, by definition, teens are vulnerable. I will however agree that strengthening the family makes them less so.