Today, my book "The Children We Left Behind" is officially released for public consumption. The focus of the book is to highlight present-day cultural issues and their connection to the growing problem of family separation throughout the Western world.
However, it’s not enough to point people to statistics and tell them it’s bad. Sometimes you need to give people an object of example for the argument you’re making.
Through telling the story of my life growing up without my father and being intimately honest about my childhood experiences, I wanted my life story to be the example of what happens when one (or both) parents leave their children behind for their own selfish desires.
The title of the book perfectly describes what is happening around me in a variety of ways. Personally, I know several adults who are still suffering from what happened to them decades ago when they were children.
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I’ve seen the impact on children of divorce who are still searching for acceptance from the parent who walked away from the family—grown men and women chasing the love they never got from their childhood in toxic relationships.
I’ve had several conversations with adults who, as children, were molested by the monsters their parents brought into their homes after their families were torn apart.
In the book, I present the story of my friend Cari Bartholomew, who was raped at the age of five, beaten constantly by her mother, and groomed to one day become a prostitute. She escaped her circumstances by turning herself in to the authorities and entering the foster care system until she aged out.
I wrote this book for many reasons, but mainly to highlight our culture’s blind spot: the intersection of our selfishness and our willingness to sacrifice for our children.
When I wrote about these topics for various publications, like the New York Post, I would receive private messages and emails from people who had survived hellish childhood circumstances. They came from all racial and economic backgrounds.
I’ve spoken to fathers who are fighting a court system to see their children and to mothers who are saddened by their children’s fathers’ disappearance.
There is a sadness in our midst and an underlying pain that is difficult to manage.
This book isn’t about attacking but about healing through truth. It’s about showing appreciation for the parents who tried their best and giving a voice to the children who aren’t heard.
We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, and I want this book to be the beginning of a healing process for some and a tool to prevent new parents from avoiding the sacrifices needed for someone more important than themselves: their children.
I want to highlight that this book was purposefully written in a non-racial and non-political fashion.
Those things muddy the conversation because children don’t care what party you vote for; they care about the choices you make to grow your relationship with them.
This isn’t just a book to read for yourself but one to give as a healing gift for someone you know who is hurting. It’s a cautionary tale of the ramifications of adult selfishness that you can give to someone who is about to make a detrimental choice that will negatively impact their children.
Thank you for your support, and I hope you enjoy the book!
Side Note: Audiobook is coming very soon.
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